I am a 48 year old married and monogamous mother of three teenagers. To a stranger, I am sure I appear to fit the stereotypical "soccer mom" stereotype. Those who love me know that I'm much more--extremely tactile, sensory, easily aroused, instinctively submissive, joyful, and creative. Aging is a bitch, though...and I've spent the last five years struggling with perimenopause--mood swings, weight gain, skin and hair changes, and loss of libido.

It has been awful. I have sunk lower and lower into a numb state, emotionally and physically. If not for a huge sense of duty, I am sure that my husband would have left within the first year. Instead, he's wrapped himself in work and hobbies, trying to bide his time.

So, I recently found a new doctor, ditched the antidepressants (er, not "ditch" so much as medically supervised weaning), and started a mild course of hormone replacement therapy. So far, so good. My body is starting to awaken...but it is slow to arouse, and it's "failure" has made it awkward to start things up again in the bedroom.

Why am I here? The happiest I have ever been in my life was when I finally realized that I am submissive--that surrendering to my husband's wills and providing for his needs is not only my place, but my heart. I spent years constantly on the brink of arousal, taking care of our home, my family, and ME, knowing that it made him happy. I want that back!