It's still the holiday season, so I'm not expecting to be doing any work until after the first week of January has passed. For now, I've been going around & wiping up all of the spilled wine and holiday items from having guests around constantly & generally making the house clean & shiny again. Nice quiet day too - my sister has been out and probably won't be back until later, so I've been enjoying the tranquility around here.

It kind of just accidentally happened, but as I was checking emails & messages this afternoon, I was starting to get fairly.....annoyed with some of the stuff I was reading - was TOTALLY not in any mood for sexual stuff, and in fact getting a bit angered over the fact that talk about it was all I was finding (not talking about my PM box on this site btw).

Anyways, I was about to quit messing with the PC when I happened upon a.....I guess "testimonial" would be the right word - it was actually quite hot, and before I knew it, I was already running my had downward to caress myself. By the time I was done reading (would be VERY interesting if it is in fact a true account), I was light-headed and hot all over. After a 2-hour porn binge and constant stimulation, I finally wound up stopping without an orgasm & had only gotten a bit wet for the entire time I was working on myself.

I realised after resuming my chores that I cant concentrate now. There's this heaviness in my chest - I can feel stuff tingling too under my bra, and I just feel so warm all over......I cant stop wanting to just.....orgasm my brains out I guess. I'm unbelievably tired from everything, but I really don't care how it would happen - I REALLY need to do something about this feeling.

Thinking about it, how I feel now is 100% completely opposite from how I felt this morning. I went from just wanting to have a nice day and do chores (disgusted at the thought of sex) to wanting to have ANYTHING (seriously. anything.) happen to me to lead me to the final release of an orgasm. I'm beginning to realise......everything that happens during a given day (work, people, hobbies) distracts me to the point of "forgetting" my conditioning, but it all comes flooding back in force the second I accidentally trigger some kind of sexual response from myself as if it had always been there, lingering in the back of my mind. I cant really even concentrate long enough to function and do stuff other than breathing heavy and wanting to be used........my head is so fuzzy right now.

And with that, I'm going to go for lunch. It's probably good to note that my audio player has busted & I will have to wait and buy a new one.....interesting chaos will soon find me I imagine. For now, I'm going to go enjoy some nice fishies that decided to lend themselves to the food chain.