Oh well no changes....Rotten day at work yesterday and just could not get myself to realx and enjoy letting myself go into a trance. Mind kept slipping back to problems and what needs to be taken care of today....I must admit that I am very upset at myself because even if there is no change I enjoy the little time to myself to be inside my own head and letting things go. Since I am here for 4 - 6 months at a time without any physical contact I crave the feelings I get going into and while in the trance.....I would say the want is akin to drugs (warm, hot, thrilling, sexual,exciting,needful)...lol I have really enjoyed the "self torture" of not touching myself everytime my nipples "call". I really enjoy pushing myself to total distraction before I massage them. I know how good it will feel but the wait I put myself thru is worth it...at least i think so and I am all that matters when it comes to this. Yesterday at the meeting with my employee was a little rough....The nagging feeling that I needed just a little stroke I had to keep putting off and it wasn't helping since her nipples were hard as rocks. Mine were to and I swear I could feel them throbbing (Hope they weren't tooobviouse)....I was starting to wonder if she could see them throbbing as I caught her staring a few times....I made it thru the meeting ok. I think I would like to try some sort of file where it can be triggered by others but not sure I feel ready to give control to another. If I could find something that they could email or call and trigger something that would really arouse me for a specified period and not interfere if in a bad place I think I would like to try that....I will see....I can't take a chance of embarresment, foolishness or losing my job over enjoyment. That is enough mussing for today I guess I had better get back to work