Last night was a long night. Nicole arrived and all I could think about was shooting up. That quickly changed. Justin immediately told her before she could come in he was checking everything for drugs, everything. Nicole had a fit! Before he could do anything Nicole said, yes I have coke and heroine...

I am so excited and I am shaking knowing I will be shooting up in about 30 minutes. I will be so happy to be shooting up again. Nicole is saving me again. She told me she would never let me quit, and she is right. Once that needle goes in me, I’m never trying to quit again. I love the feeling so much.

The hypno file didn’t come today and Nicole is an hour away. I’m so excited because that means I get my heroin back. I’m so needing to get back on it. I can’t wait for her to get here. She said maybe we can go out for a cigarette and shoot up. I told her that is a great idea. I will be shooting up i...

I know stupid me. I know. It’s harder than what I am capable of. The hypno is my last real chance. If Nicole doesn’t get here first.

I got so desperate I text new Mike. I told him I needed for him to shoot me up. He said he was done with me, and stop contacting him. He has a new girlfriend, and is out of town with her anyway. He told me he is blocking my number, wished me the best and hung up! Ugggghhhh! I need to shoot up so bad...

I am so desperate to shoot up. I know it is the low road, but I don’t know any different. Justin feels so bad for me watching me go through all this. He has really gone out of his way to help me as much as he can. Holding my baby knowing she deserves so much better. I so can be that wife, that Mom, ...

Nicole just text me an article that 91% of those that shoot up go back on it after rehab. She said stop trying to quit! You will never quit and you know it! You are just putting yourself through so much pain knowing how great you will feel as soon as you shoot up! Just move in with me and we will ne...

Nicole text me and said she wants to come for Thanksgiving but until I give her a plan on how we are going to be able to shoot up with Justin around, she can’t come. She said there is no way she is quitting, or wants to be in a situation where she can’t shoot up whenever she needs it. She told me to...

So I told Nicole since she can’t get all the stuff we need to get as much as she can from Mike and come spend Thanksgiving with us, then I could shoot up tomorrow! I told her she has nowhere to go anyway. She said how are we going to shoot up with Justin there? Doing lines is easy, but shooting up g...

She is also hooking again on her own as an escort. She said when she comes home we can buy a house and I could become a hooker again. She reminded me how much I loved that. I really do love it because I can’t get enough sex and my body is back except my boobs are so big I really have to get a lift, ...

Now Mike told her the guy is out of town until next Monday. The one after Thanksgiving! Ugh! I was all excited I’d be shooting up by Thanksgiving and now I can’t! I’m going to go crazy waiting now! I don’t know if I can give this up. I know no matter what, if it is in front of me, now or months from...

I had to trick Nicole. Told her I was desperate to shoot up and needed more coke. I told her she needed to have sex with Mike’s dealer and get as much as she can and come home. She said she knew I would cave in. I told her I need it soon. She is working on it. The problem is when she gets here, I’m ...

I know! This is so hard. Today is the first day I am not throwing up. It is miserable and so hard. It is my own doing though, not pleasant at all! The physical part is easing up, the psychological part, no!

I really worry about Nicole. She is hooked badly. I keep trying to tell her to come home with me and Justin so we can all reset. She told me she will never stop shooting up, she loves it. I keep trying every day. She needs help and she can’t get it. She keeps telling me I will be back and shooting u...

I wish this was over it is so hard! I really hope I make it! I’m trying but it is the hardest thing I have ever done, even harder than the last 2 times. I think it was because in my mind as soon as I finished detox I would be shooting up the next day. Now I know I can’t and that is so daunting and d...

Since I arrived here I wish I could shoot up all the time. Justin agreed it might be too much to give up my coke until I was not shooting up anymore but he has all my coke and let’s me use it just 8 times a day. I was up to 20+ with Mike, so that is hard as well. Each week he is going to cut me down...

Thank you all for your personal thoughts. I am back with Justin. My baby has gotten so big. I have made a lifetime of mistakes. I know I need another path. The withdrawal is an epic mountain, I have so far to go. I am scared, but Justin helps me so much. I am so lucky he even talks to me let alone l...

I’m leaving here tomorrow early. I shot up for the last time tonight. I know how hard this is going to be. I hope Justin helps me, I know he will

So I usually shoot up after lunch. Amy had me cleaning before she would shoot me up. She told me she would shoot me up after I finish, and after I gave her a massage. This is getting unbearable. I’m really needing to shoot up bad! I told Justin and he said for me to come home now! He will make sure ...

So I get up this morning and I wanted to try not shooting up until late this morning. Amy told Mike to give her the needle and told me she was shooting me up and for me to beg her to shoot E up or I would go without all day. I started to panic and begged her to shoot me up. She did. I so needed it t...

This is not working out. I’m thinking about getting my own place buy a ton of food and stay there for 30 days withdrawing. That would be so painful. This serving Amy is not something I can do very long, I will lose it. That was so low having me put Mike inside her. I can’t live like this but I so ne...

Amy is such a bitch. She comes over and Mike was going to shoot me up before they made love. Amy said don’t give her any until she puts your cock inside me and tells me that Mike is all yours! I refused and she told Mike do not shoot her up the rest of the day, let the bitch crave herself insane whi...

Amy told me if I fail to do anything she asks she will not shoot me up for one round. She said as soon as I feel that I will obey her very fast! She is right. I can’t miss shooting up I will be hurting

It’s at the point now she makes me beg for my shot. She laughs at me all the time. Makes me beg her to make love to Mike and then makes love to him right in front of me. I can’t stand it but I have no choice right now. She said once I move out I will become their housekeeper. This is really messed u...

I know what you are saying. It is so hard for me. I was basically forced to do coke at a very young age. I have needed it to get by forever. I have tried so many times to stop, but I so need it to get by I can’t even think of not having it with me at all times. I always wanted to try shooting up and...

I know I have to be careful now or Amy could talk to Mike and he will stop shooting me up. I would be so screwed, and if he ever took my coke away I’d totally lose it. I’m going to have to suck it up and do what Amy wants and that will be hard because she is a selfish whore. She only wants Mike to g...

Justin calls me every night. He tells me he will never stop loving me. I know he means it but I love shooting up more than anything, and need my coke as well. I know it is sad because I love Justin, but I need other things too much. Now I am going to have to deal with Amy and that is going to suck! ...

Mike has me now. Amy is taking my place. He knows I need him shooting me up and also my coke. I have to just live with the idea that Amy is his love interest now and I’m more or less here for sex. Amy won, and she knows it. Getting her shooting up really backfired. She belongs to Mike now and there ...

Nothing like shooting up with my honey. He is right. I will always need him now. All worries are gone. I love Mike so much. Nothing like being high 24/7

I have a feeling Mike is going to want me to leave when Amy really gets into shooting up. She will be taunting me and I’m not going to be able to deal with it. I may just call Justin and go to rehab but I don’t really want to quit shooting or my coke and cigarettes. That is overwhelming to me! I wil...

Mike told me now that Amy is shooting up and my promise that he could fuck anyone he wants may not be what I wanted. He said he will be sleeping with Amy a lot more now. He warned me about having an affair with her husband because if she finds out she might end up staying with me. If she does you ar...

Yes last night Mike told Amy I’d be out. He invited her over. He convinced her to shoot up:)! All this while I sucked and fucked her husband! I love it. She is so hooked now!

I love it! Mike has been texting Amy and she is saying how the coke is different. She said she feels a craving but it is much stronger when she needs it, and she is doing more lines because the cravings are so much stronger. He told her that the recent stuff is cut with heroin. She flipped out and s...

Mike told me not to worry about Amy. He said they have been having sex since he can remember. I asked him about fucking her while we were having an affair on Justin? He said he started with her before me. I don’t know. I’m beginning to wonder about Mike now. I feel like I’m just a way for him to get...

Sometimes I feel like Mike just uses me for sex, and then at the same time I use him for coke. It’s like which came first the chicken or the egg? I know one thing, I need him because Ihave to shoot up now.I also need to do at least 20 lines a day. I don’t know what I’d do without him. I get nervous ...

Mike just made my day. He told me since He started shooting me up it has been 1/4 of a full dose. He told me he didn’t want me to OD and wanted to go slow. So today Amy was coming over and as soon as she got there he shot me up 1/2 dose and I was flying. He fucked Amy right in front of me and I was ...

I asked Mike if Amy ever shoot up? He said no but a couple times she almost tried it. I told him I want her shooting up! I want her totally hooked! He said he could start cutting her coke slowly with heroin. I said yes, and then I want her shooting up. I told him if he did that he could fuck her all...

I was going to meet Justin’s Nov 1 deadline until Amy came back into the picture. No way I am leaving Mike now, so she can take over Mike. That’s not happening. I told Mike she is using him for coke! He said he has been with her longer than me, and not to interfere. He told me every time right befor...

OMG this is so messed up. Mike told me he had a surprise for me, and he said under one condition. He needed to shoot me up right before the surprise. So fast forward. He shoots me up and there is a knock on the door. It was fucking Amy! The one that worked for me at my salon. I always thought she ha...

Justin gave me until November 1 to come home or he is taking me to court and take my baby. This is so hard. I shoot up everyday now and I can’t quit. I told Mike I wanted to try and get off and he said I told him to never let me quit. He shoots me up in my sleep now, 3 nights in a row I woke up with...

Mmmm my baby loves me so much, and shows me every time he shoots me up. He makes me feel so good. I know he will never take it away from me which is such an awesome feeling. We are back to making love several times a day and I fall deeper with him each time. We have Nicole hooked now too! So she wil...

I was texting Justin telling him I was going to spend 1 more week here. He asked me if I was seeing Mike while I was here. I wanted to lie but I had just shot up and was pretty high. I told him yes. He wasn’t too happy. He said so I presume you are back on coke. I said yes. He was not happy and said...

It feels sooooo good that I’m hooked on shooting up again. I told Mike once he started shooting me up to promise no matter what he would never let me off of it. He so understands me, and he told me he knows exactly how I feel and he will never stop shooting me up. He did tell me he will never shoot ...

You can’t believe how good it feels to be shooting up again. Nicole is at her mom’s but was here shooting up yesterday and early this morning. She is so happy. I know how much she loves shooting up. I’m so happy for her that she is shooting up again, she loves it! I am so into Mike. I made love to h...

I arrived at old Mike’s yesterday. What a reunion! It was so emotional and I could hardly wait for him to shoot me up and make love to me. I never realized how deeply in love with him I was and still am. He put the needle in me under one condition. I become totally his. It was an easy promise, I lov...

I have such a great love for Justin and he adores me, but I was brought up on coke and cigarettes and it is my life. I realize after 2 rehabs, and trying to quit I can’t so I stopped trying. Otherwise I’d have the best marriage and man anyone could ask for. My best bet is Mike, we fit together perfe...

I might have to move my date earlier than November 1. It’s weird. I am off heroin, but thinking about Mike shooting me up makes me crave it so bad. I need that so bad now. Lus Mike is perfect for me. He will never try and take my coke away from me, I will never have to worry ever again, and he loves...

I got goose bumps. Mike text me and said once I got there, I will never leave. I said how do you know that? He said once he shoots me up, I will never leave. He said he has wanted me since he first met me, and this time I’m not getting away. I told him if that was to happen, I would love it! I follo...

I have been texting Mike a lot this morning. We both realize we are on a course that is going to see our love blossom. He told me this morning how crushed he was when we moved away. I told him it hurt not to have him making love to me everyday. He was so nervous when I met Justin that he would not s...

Nicole and I were just talking. We both came to the conclusion that being hooked on anything is a good thing. It is only a bad thing if you want to quit. It is very hard. Neither of us have any desire to ever quit coke, or cigarettes, and we love shooting up so much, so we want to be hooked on it. T...