For over a year, I have been trying hypnosis, mostly audio files, with generally little success. I have also done hypnosis sessions with two friends, one in text and one in voice, but in both cases it felt as though I was consciously following and had to 'allow' anything to affect me, with mild effect. With a headmate I have had the most success, being easily able to receive effects from most of her suggestions, from relaxation to behavioural alteration to slowing the growth rate of hair (though nothing more dramatic than that, that I can tell, and it would only last for a day unless reinforced with more hypnosis), but it is easy for my mind to wander and fall asleep before she finishes. I have also had occasional success with the relaxation inductions in files, sometimes causing rigidity until I awaken, with slight soreness or loss of circulation, but little past that.
I have thought of a few reasons that I might have low suggestibility:
- I am naturally cautious and my mind filters suggestions that I am unsure of.
- I have difficulty quieting my mind and it is very 'noisy' and wanders very often, especially when I try to relax.
- I am analytical and like to know how and why something works, and often analyse a hypnotist's technique and words (I like to study hypnosis as well, so I think about what I could do to be effective).
- Perhaps my depression also clouds my mind, as I often have little energy and find it difficult to think.
- I tend to think of myself as separate from the body (perhaps pertinent for any hypnosis that alters the body physically), and my mental image of 'my' body is distinctly different and non-human.
- I have difficulty visualising or imagining things consciously, but while dreaming (including when listening to hypnosis while asleep) or at times when my mind is wandering, I can sometimes have very vivid images.
Trance depth doesn't seem to affect me much, though I tend toward the 'non-state' model of hypnosis. It does, however, seem to mildly affect my expectations and help slightly with effects.
I should say that most of what I have attempted has been physical alteration to the body, and have had very minor permanent effects over long periods, but it frustrates me that unlike many others I have heard about, I never have effects so quickly or to the extent that they do, even after several months of listening.
I have also practised a little bit in the occult (not solely for, or even begun, because of this, but I have been focusing on this more lately), and similarly found that I tend to experience very little or have few results, unlike my peers. I have wondered if this was for similar reasons as my low suggestibility, since I think of hypnosis and the occult as being inter-related (although I am not as much of the 'purely psychological' way of thinking as chaos magick, even if I find the idea useful).
Recently, I have been practising meditation (the empty mind sort) more as well, but it is still rather difficult to keep my mind quiet for more than a few minutes. Binaurals sometimes help with this, or with trance when listening to files, but are not always effective.
I know that my focus on physical change to the body is a matter of difficulty, but that is, for better or worse, most of what has interested me. I will try my best to elaborate if anything needs clarification. If anyone can offer any help or guidance, it would be much appreciated.
