Need feedback on script

This is a place to discuss Files you want to create, script writing, and hypnosis technique.

Moderator: EMG

Need feedback on script

Postby username54 » March 7th, 2013, 5:13 pm

I am completely new to script writing, what I have here is just s simple one wrote up in a matter of minutes based on my experience with listening to files on this site and what techniques have been better for suggestions to work on me.

This is a script for mainly personal use, definitely not ready yet though. I (and obviously pretty much every other heterosexual male) have always been attracted to large breasts. I want to put an end to that, it just decreases my chance of finding a woman who I truly love. I wrote this to let the listener be I attracted to larger breasts, and associate feelings of disgust and repulsiveness with them. I also added a suggestions to enjoy smaller breasts more and make them more beautiful. I would really like some feedback on this, and what I need to change or add.
Thanks, and here is a copy of the work in progress script.





You used to be attracted to women with big breasts. They made you nervous talking to them. That is very silly. Why would big breasts be attractive to you?
You will find that women with big breasts are so unattractive. Big breasts are ugly. They are gross. They are repulsive.
Female breasts are very unattractive. You find breasts are very repulsive. The weight of them is disgusting. The stretch marks are gross. Big breasts are such ugly things. The discolorations. The unevenness. It is so unattractive.
Big breasts are very unattractive. Let this idea sink into your mind.
Big breasts are just lumps of gross flesh on a woman's chest. Think about how gross they are. They are repulsive. Imagine a woman with big breasts. The breasts are so revolting. They are repulsive and disgusting. Now, imagine a woman with small breasts. She is beautiful. Why would you ever want huge, gross, breasts, when smaller, cute breasts are so beautiful. Women with small breasts are so much more attractive than those with bigger breasts. Whenever you see a woman with big breasts, you will be disgusted. You will want to look away. The woman with the big breasts will be so unattractive. Let this thought sink into your mind.
You will find that women with big breasts are so unattractive. Big breasts are ugly. They are gross. They are repulsive. Bigger breasts have discolorations and are uneven. The stretch marks are so ugly and disturbing. It is disgusting to even think about big breasts. They are repulsive.
You will find that women with big breasts are so unattractive. Big breasts are ugly. They are gross. They are repulsive.
username54
Newbie
Newbie
 
Posts: 18
Joined: January 19th, 2013, 1:00 am

Postby PowerHoden » March 7th, 2013, 5:25 pm

Too many negatives. Try to change the topic inbetween. For example. If you want to be attracted to small breasted girls you should definitially add it and be focused on that alot more.
PowerHoden
Regular
Regular
 
Posts: 58
Joined: March 16th, 2012, 12:00 am

Postby username54 » March 7th, 2013, 5:32 pm

But it's not so much that as just have busty women more unattractive than women with smaller breasts. How should I do this?
username54
Newbie
Newbie
 
Posts: 18
Joined: January 19th, 2013, 1:00 am

Postby HypnoCactus » March 8th, 2013, 9:24 am

PowerHoden is right, the whole thing is too negative. Perhaps a paragraph describing a busty woman early on, something like:

There are women in the world with large uneven breasts, skin looking like it's stretched too thin, stretch marks and blotchy skin. So ungainly and unattractive. So gross and repulsive to your inner core. They hang without aesthetic beauty.

Expand a little if you wish, but keep is short and early. A little negativity goes a very long way and it's the pull back on large breasts. But you really need to focus more on why small breasts are good. The better the description, the deeper it will sit. Perhaps describe a petite girl that "you find attractive." The smaller breasts perfectly accent her shape, smile, eyes, etc... It's better to overemphasize the positives than the negatives, as it encourages a nicer trance experience.
HypnoCactus
Regular
Regular
 
Posts: 32
Joined: February 12th, 2010, 1:00 am

Postby username54 » March 8th, 2013, 2:57 pm

Thanks for the advice. I've tried to talk more about the positive stuff than negative.
I've fixed some things and added some. Let me know what you think.



It feels good to listen to my voice. Listening to my voice makes you relax more, go deeper.

As you continue to relax, you will want to hear my suggestions. These suggestions are what you want, and feel good. Listening to my voice feels so good.
There are women in the world with large uneven breasts, skin looking like it's stretched too thin, stretch marks and blotchy skin. So ungainly and unattractive. So gross and repulsive to your inner core. They hang without aesthetic beauty.
You used to be attracted to women with large breasts. That is very silly. Large breasts are so repulsive and disgusting.
You will find that women with big breasts are so unattractive. Big breasts are ugly. They are gross. They are repulsive.
Small breasts are so much more attractive. They are so beautiful. Small breasts complement a woman's whole body and make her cute looking. Small breasts are so beautiful and attractive. It feels so good be around women with smaller breasts. It is almost embarrassing to be around women with large breasts. You find that large breasts are very repulsive. The weight of them is disgusting. Large breasts hang, and that is so unattractive. The stretch marks are gross. Large breasts are such ugly things. The discolorations. The unevenness. It is so unattractive. You don't need women with large breasts when women with small breasts are so attractive and cute. Women with small breasts are so beautiful. Think about how beautiful a woman looks with small, cute breasts that compliment her entire body. Her beautiful small breasts make her entire body look more attractive: her eyes, her hair, her face, her whole body is so beautiful.
Small breasts are very cute and attractive. You enjoy being around women with small breasts. Let this idea sink into your mind.
Big breasts are just lumps of gross flesh on a woman's chest. Think about how gross they are. They are repulsive. Imagine a woman with large breasts. The breasts are so revolting. They are repulsive and disgusting. Now, imagine a woman with small breasts. She is beautiful. Why would you ever want huge, gross, breasts, when smaller, cute breasts are so beautiful. Women with small breasts are so much more attractive than those with bigger breasts. Women with small breasts are so very attractive, it feels so good to be attracted to small, cute breasts. Every time you see a woman with big breasts, you will be disgusted and repulsed. You will want to look away. The woman with the large breasts will be so unattractive. Let this thought sink into your mind.
You are attracted to women with small breasts. Women with small, cute breasts are so attractive. You will find that women with large breasts are so unattractive. Large breasts are ugly. They are gross. They are repulsive. Bigger breasts have discolorations and are uneven. The stretch marks are so ugly and disturbing. It is disturbing to even think about big breasts. They are repulsive.
You are attracted to women with small breasts. Women with small, cute breasts are so attractive. Women with small, cute breasts are easy to love. It is very enjoyable to talk and be attracted to women with smaller breasts. Your love for small breasts makes you feel so good. You will find that women with big breasts are so unattractive. Large breasts are ugly. They are gross. They are repulsive. Whenever you see a woman with large breasts, you will be disgusted by her breasts.
username54
Newbie
Newbie
 
Posts: 18
Joined: January 19th, 2013, 1:00 am


Return to File Making & Hypnosis Techniques

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests