Non-sequitur thread

For discussing Anything and Everything.

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Postby makidas » May 27th, 2005, 12:37 am

Sometimes I like pie....

Sometimes I don't....
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Postby aj » May 27th, 2005, 1:11 am

Speaking of pies, my dogs hair is of medium length.
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Postby Lord_Mizaru » May 27th, 2005, 11:36 am

Your Age by Sex Math. This is pretty neat! Check it out....

YOUR AGE BY SEX MATH
DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!

It takes less than a minute....... Work this out as you read... You might need a small piece of scrap paper for simple addition and subtraction.

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have sex. (more than once but less than 10)





2. Multiply this number by 2 (Just to be bold)





3. Add 5. (for Sunday)





4. Multiply it by 50 I'll wait while you get the calculator................





5. If you have already had your birthday this year add
1755....



If you haven't, add 1754 ....





6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.
You should have a three digit number





The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you want to have sex each week).




The next two numbers are .........



YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)





THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2005) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND > > WHILE IT LASTS...
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Postby sandy82 » May 27th, 2005, 11:57 am

Great idea for a thread, tg812.

L_M, I can't compete with the math, but how about an internal non-sequitur?


"After finding no WMDs in the end, we were exporting democracy from the beginning."
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Postby Lord_Mizaru » May 27th, 2005, 12:03 pm

Ok so no math, how bout this?

seeking violent agressive masochistic self loathing limber open minded double jointed self destructive intelligent obsessive well spoken female prone to blackouts and psychotic episodes..must be open to all aspects of sadomasochism and bondage .. have sharp teeth and a croquet mallot..demon posessed ok..mutant a plus (no freaks) -please have passport and circus experience
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Postby sandy82 » May 27th, 2005, 12:08 pm

BTW, the math works!

I like your ad... it's much more eye-catching than 4rms rivvu. :-)
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Postby Agriff » May 27th, 2005, 2:18 pm

My dog wants to be let outside....
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Postby Lord_Mizaru » May 27th, 2005, 5:05 pm

Either you did it wrong or you're SERIOUSLY in denial :P
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Postby lensewrage » May 27th, 2005, 6:08 pm

I bought a vinyl buckle longsleeve shirt today
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Postby Wynfrith » May 27th, 2005, 6:17 pm

Speaking of hotels, my hand hurts.
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Postby BillionSix » June 5th, 2005, 1:30 pm

I am not a necrophiliac, but I am aroused at the thought of mindless zombie-like women.
Sometimes this makes me wonder if I am similar to a furry, who is almost, but not really, into bestiality.

Brian
All I need is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power.
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Postby lensewrage » June 5th, 2005, 3:51 pm

I'm Drunk
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Postby Lord_Mizaru » June 5th, 2005, 5:20 pm

I was drunk last night. Out of my mind :P
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Postby sandy82 » June 5th, 2005, 6:13 pm

Glenfiddich should be shared with friends. :wink:
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Postby Lord_Mizaru » June 5th, 2005, 7:14 pm

Actually I had some Aberlour left over from a while back that I drunk instead.... and the effects of it were shared with people I assure you, all beit not in person. Sadly for them I had my karaoke disk for the xbox lying around and a phone near by, so some of my friends got a lovely rendition of the theme from shaft as well as assorted other tunes :P
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Postby johnbohnrevenge » June 6th, 2005, 4:29 am

624 + 713 = 1336
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Postby Lord_Mizaru » June 6th, 2005, 9:27 am

johnbohnrevenge wrote:624 + 713 = 1336


You poor bastard, you added it wrong. You were only 1 away from being 1337 but I guess you just aren't cool enough... I feel for ya man :(
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Postby Jack » June 6th, 2005, 5:03 pm

I feel somehow...
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." Bertrand Russell
"By doing certain things certain results follow." A. Crowley, Book of Lies
"Dum spiro, spero." - Cicero
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Postby sandy82 » June 7th, 2005, 2:05 pm

i x i x i x i = 1
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Postby dharden » June 7th, 2005, 2:46 pm

Did somebody just say "Ulysses"?
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Postby lensewrage » June 7th, 2005, 2:47 pm

I have books!
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Postby Agriff » June 7th, 2005, 9:08 pm

2+2=5
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Postby Lord_Mizaru » June 7th, 2005, 9:42 pm

1984
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Postby makidas » June 7th, 2005, 11:06 pm

I found out today that Steak-Ums give me gas.
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Postby Wynfrith » June 7th, 2005, 11:34 pm

My goldfish like chicken sandwiches.
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Postby sandy82 » June 8th, 2005, 6:44 pm

I wonder if it's plagiarism for me to say that one quarter of one quarter equals six cents. Maybe it is; so I won't.
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Postby johnbohnrevenge » June 8th, 2005, 7:31 pm

Point two five, sandy; point two five!

We're replying to each other too much. Keep going with the non-sequiturs! (I have to, or the aliens will come.)
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Postby a3a2004 » June 8th, 2005, 7:50 pm

I have a penis
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Postby Lord_Mizaru » June 8th, 2005, 8:00 pm

He has no penis.
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Postby Jack » June 9th, 2005, 5:30 am

Who is "He"?
Who is?
How do you know that "He" doesn't have a penis, specifically?
Who are you?
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." Bertrand Russell
"By doing certain things certain results follow." A. Crowley, Book of Lies
"Dum spiro, spero." - Cicero
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Postby johnbohnrevenge » June 9th, 2005, 6:17 am

I am who I am, so damn, I'm the ice cream man.
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Postby Lord_Mizaru » June 9th, 2005, 12:00 pm

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^ This man has no penis.
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Postby Jack » June 9th, 2005, 6:07 pm

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^This penis has no man.
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." Bertrand Russell
"By doing certain things certain results follow." A. Crowley, Book of Lies
"Dum spiro, spero." - Cicero
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Postby Lord_Mizaru » June 9th, 2005, 6:42 pm

................/´¯/)
............,/¯../ /
.........../..../ /
...../´¯/'...'/´¯¯.`·¸
../'/.../..../.....:^.¨¯\
('(...´...´.... ¯_/'...'/
.\.................'...../
..'\'...\.......... _.·´
....\..............(
.…..\..............
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Postby Jack » June 9th, 2005, 7:35 pm

:wink:
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." Bertrand Russell
"By doing certain things certain results follow." A. Crowley, Book of Lies
"Dum spiro, spero." - Cicero
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Postby Nanashi » June 10th, 2005, 6:58 am

A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling (an excerpt)
by Mark Twain

For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g j" anomali wonse and for all.

Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.

Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.
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Postby TabbyCat » June 10th, 2005, 9:34 am

Then you get German :D
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Postby Nanashi » June 10th, 2005, 4:04 pm

Aufklärung eines Geheimnisses!
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Postby Wynfrith » June 10th, 2005, 6:19 pm

I'm going to a whine party....
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Postby parallaxfx » June 10th, 2005, 8:13 pm

I will gladly supply the cheese.......
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Postby Folsom_god » June 12th, 2005, 12:13 am

me gusta mi reggae
me gust punk rock
pero la cosa me gusta mas es panochita



i like my reggae i like punk rock but the think i like most is pussy ha it makes me laugh that i was trying to sing this when i was 11
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Postby Lord_Mizaru » June 12th, 2005, 1:31 am

Penis™
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Postby sandy82 » June 13th, 2005, 11:03 pm

German is not a language that anyone wants to encourage. If it could be screamed at Nuremberg, it can be bellowed elsewhere.

If the Germans don't like English, I give them the same advice that the French receive.

Tais-toi.

Halt den Mund.
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Postby Folsom_god » June 17th, 2005, 8:47 pm

rub it on the belly like some guava jelly
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Postby lensewrage » June 21st, 2005, 7:58 am

The sun is shining
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Postby Jack » June 21st, 2005, 3:40 pm

There will be times when dinner is not served.
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." Bertrand Russell
"By doing certain things certain results follow." A. Crowley, Book of Lies
"Dum spiro, spero." - Cicero
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Postby lensewrage » June 21st, 2005, 5:00 pm

Help! I'm being eaten ali........
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Postby Nanashi » June 22nd, 2005, 2:00 am

A house is not a couch. Except on Tuesdays.
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Postby lensewrage » June 23rd, 2005, 5:28 pm

Where am I?... Who am I? and who are you?
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