How I became Diaper dependant

[kgb33]

so I have been listening to the MM bladder retraining file and MM poopy pampers for over a year now. However last summer I decided to do an experiment of sorts. I finally got my own apartment so I decided to start listening to the file twice a day for the whole summer. I listened once when I got up and once right before I went to bed. The second part was I was going to be diapered 24/7 and I would try not to hold it at all ever.
So that's exactly what I did once and a while I would cheat and hold in my poo when I was in a place where it would be super embarrassing and some days I wouldn't listen in the morning when time wouldn't permit, but for the most part I stuck to my little experiment. I have been listening and wearing 24/7 since early may.
For the first three months I noticed almost nothing, and what I did notice I attributed to just being used to using my diapers. I started in very frequent small wettings, I was drinking a lot of water, mostly because I was really enjoying wearing and wetting my diaper. It also got really easy to wet at night. I would wake up release my bladder and go back to sleep, I always had to "give permission" for my bladder to empty
At this point I was really enjoying my little experiment, I figured the file wasent doing much but I liked listening to it so ill keep doing it. Then one day I woke up changed my diaper and right after I changed I felt the need to poop. I think to myself damit I just changed, screw it ill cheat and hold it for a while. The urge came suddenly and I clenched as hard and luckily I held it in. I thought to myself "wow that was close" and right as I thought that a poopy mess erupted into the back of my diaper and began wetting myself as well I dident even know I had to pee!
This made me a little nervous I wasent 100% sure I wanted to be completely Incontinent. I was just playing around having fun. At the same time there was a side of me that was ecstatic and thinking why did I even try to hold it im just a baby loves wetting and messing in diapers. So very mixed feelings to say the least.
At this point I thought Ill bet I could hold it if I wasent wearing a diaper and I was in public, there is no way I could allow myself to publicly wet my pants. So it was experiment time I decided to try to go the whole day without a diaper. The first part of the day went fine I had to get to the bathroom quickly when I had to go but no big deal. It was I nice day so I decided to go for a walk. Upon leaving my apartment I felt naked and vulnerable. I hated the Idea of going out without a diaper, I literally wanted to cry. Things got better though as I walked to the park. I strolled around a bit confident in my bladder control then headed home. When I was about halfway home I felt the need to pee desperately which I felt was odd because before that I dident even feel the need to go. I nearly wet myself on the spot but I concentrated and held it in. By the time I got to my apartment I felt like my bladder was going to explode. While fumbling with my keys and trying to unlock the door I started wetting and there was no stoping the flood and just as I got the door open I noticed someone coming up behind me Im not sure if they noticed or not.
Later that day I had another accident this time in my car.....
So in my day without diapers I had 2 accidents. "This is bad" I thought to myself no more file or diapers end of experiment. But it wasent the end that night I just could not sleep I tossed and turned but no sleep.... Eventually I caved I put on a diaper and and listened to the file.
A few days later I woke up in the middle of the night and I was already peeing my diaper. A couple nights later I woke in the morning to a soaking wet diaper. This continued for a few weeks I would wake up peeing about a third of the time, wake up soaking about a third of the time, and I would still have to tell myself to go the last third of nights
During the day I still had to tell my bladder to release, that is until one day when I was playing a computer game (path of exile) and noticed my diaper was really wet and I had no memory of going. As the days passed this became more frequent, if i was really engrossed in what I was doing I would wet with no recollection of doing so.
This really sped up when I woke up one morning in a wet and poopy diaper. I remember thinking to myself "thats it im completely incontinent now I NEED diapers and im ok with that"

After I accepted being incontinent and even told a few folks, I became happier than I had ever been and the remainder of my control quickly vanished over the next few weeks. I remember walk with a friend (who knows im incontinent) through the park and suddenly messing myself. She was like "did you just....." I stopped her and said yeah I need to change myself. At that moment I felt pure joy I mess my self and she was totally ok with it. That was the moment I knew I made the right choice by un potty training myself

I still listen to the file every night javascript:emoticon(':D')
:D

[zzzzz]

Cool that you like it!

Good luck!

zzzzz

[krisndiapers]

Good success! I like reading these stories.

[kiram]

Really nice job in posting all the emotions that go along with these files. Your reactions and descriptions are surely ones that many of us would also experience in the same situation.

Thanks for sharing. I love the MM poopy diapers file too.

[artemidorus]

After having my day starting with flooding my diaper and having to literally run around morning rush hour Central Station traffic to the one and only Men's Toilet in the Grand Hall, reading this personal story of accomplishment and overall happiness and pride in the experience and training really means a lot to me.

Un-potty training is really really hard, and there ARE moments of "I truly cannot believe this is happening right now and I am totally powerless to do anything about it."
That shit is a real mind fuck and one that awakens the next, deeper part of your mind... that place that deals with the public, and isn't particularly keen on actually living out the humiliation stories it may read online.
But knowing the incontinence is a place of true happiness after such trials, is bliss.

Thank You.