Trapped in a woman's body

[chase1]

I feel different today, I don't know how to explain it. It is emotional not physical. It's almost like I am looking at the world with different eyes. Not majorly different, just a little.

The addiction part of the file is kicking in. I woke up twice last night to get a fix. I was taking the train home, and i usually listen on the train. But, a couple nights ago I was speaking to a friend on the phone and didn't get to listen. It left me feeling irritable and frustrated.

[chase1]

While the aching in my balls has lessened it is more constant. Also there is a feeling above my balls, kind of like tired muscles. Man I can't wait for this part to end.

[blanketcross]

Great to hear that you are getting more reliant on listing to the file. I am quite proud of you! I am sure the ball aches are going to go away soon, which is good. How many times do you think you listen to the file on the train?

[chase1]

Well the subliminal is 8:45 long, and my commute is 2-3 hours. It depends on weather or not I have to wait for connecting busses, so give or take 30 tines a day. Last night I woke up twice and had to listen 4 more times total, plus another 3 hours or so in bed. I start out fully awake, go through trance, then maybe fall asleep. So I have been listening alot.

[chase1]

Holy fuck! I have to stop this! My balls have been feeling smaller, but not really looking smaller, so I was gonna post a pic to track progress and they are fucking tiny! I wanted to fill out my body not get rid of my balls. I am going to start listening to testicle growth files to see if I can fix them. Also the last 2 times I masturbated I had to push in order to cum, I usually have to suck my balls in close to my body. If anyone is curious ask and ill post the pics I took.

[chase1]

The more resolved I am to stop listening, the stronger the urge gets to listen. It reminds me of when I quit smoking. It is making me really fucking irritable. If I give in I am going to be so pissed at myself! Please, if I do give in any dominants out there into humiliation give it to me good. If I don't have the will power to just not listen to something I deserve to be humiliated. Why wont I just delete the file, shit!

[chase1]

I am so pathetic, I went to delete the file but listened instead! It felt so good to give in, such a relief. I am thinking about buying the removal, but what if it doesn't stick. Maybe if I listen to something else when I feel like hearing the file I could break the addiction.

[OxyFemboi]

[quote]chase1 wrote
I am so pathetic, I went to delete the file but listened instead! It felt so good to give in, such a relief. I am thinking about buying the removal, but what if it doesn't stick. Maybe if I listen to something else when I feel like hearing the file I could break the addiction.[/quote]

There are other files besides the specific Curse Removal File that will break the addiction. These files go by the general name of "deprogrammers". Search for "deprogram" to find them.

Name: Cosmic Fire Deprogramer2
Description: that's it it deprograms Files that you can not get rid of but want to give you a clean and fresh Slate to start Afresh feedback please Anybody can use Permanent
Link: http://www.warpmymind.com/Files/5193/Cosmic-Fire-Deprogramer2.php

Name: Cosmic Fire Deprogrammer 3
Description: Deprogram those pasty little files that you changed your mind about, Anyone can use. feedback please Permanent
Link: http://www.warpmymind.com/Files/5351/Cosmic-Fire-Deprogrammer-3.php

Name: DeProgramAll
Description: This file allows you to clean out any and all of the training and trigger files so that your mind is back to it's original state from before you started listening.
Link: http://www.warpmymind.com/modules.php?name=FilesNewsys&act=fetch&nopage=1&link=314/\[url=(https?:\/\/[^\s\[]+):$uid\](.*?)\[\/url:$uid\]/i

[chase1]

[quote="OxyFemboi"][quote]chase1 wrote
I am so pathetic, I went to delete the file but listened instead! It felt so good to give in, such a relief. I am thinking about buying the removal, but what if it doesn't stick. Maybe if I listen to something else when I feel like hearing the file I could break the addiction.[/quote]

There are other files besides the specific Curse Removal File that will break the addiction. These files go by the general name of "deprogrammers".

Name: Cosmic Fire Deprogramer2
Description: that's it it deprograms Files that you can not get rid of but want to give you a clean and fresh Slate to start Afresh feedback please Anybody can use Permanent
Link: http://www.warpmymind.com/Files/5193/Cosmic-Fire-Deprogramer2.php

Name: Cosmic Fire Deprogrammer 3
Description: Deprogram those pasty little files that you changed your mind about, Anyone can use. feedback please Permanent
Link: http://www.warpmymind.com/Files/5351/Cosmic-Fire-Deprogrammer-3.php

Name: DeProgramAll
Description: This file allows you to clean out any and all of the training and trigger files so that your mind is back to it's original state from before you started listening.
Link: http://www.warpmymind.com/modules.php?name=FilesNewsys&act=fetch&nopage=1&link=314/\[url=(https?:\/\/[^\s\[]+):$uid\](.*?)\[\/url:$uid\]/i[/quote]

Thanks Oxy, ill give them a try. I didn't really think those would work because in the file it specifically states that only EMG's curse removal file is the only thing that will stop this fiels effects. I ended up putting the file on loop. I have probably listened to it 1/\[url=(https?:\/\/[^\s\[]+):$uid\](.*?)\[\/url:$uid\]/i times this morning.

[chase1]

Well, I have calmed down a bit. The pain has lessened quite a bit, I guess the file could be wearing off, but its more likely that my balls are loosing the battle. Not surprising given their size.

[blanketcross]

but...I thought we were going to listen together and track out progress together...whatever though...I will just listen bye myself. :( :cry:

[chase1]

[quote="blanketcross"]but...I thought we were going to listen together and track out progress together...whatever though...I will just listen bye myself. :( :cry:[/quote]

Well I have been thinking about it all day, and at this point the damage is done. I think my hips have actually started to get wider. I don't think it is measurable but the last 2 nights when I trance deeply I feel alot of tingling across my lower back above my crack, and the top outsides of my thighs. At this point I might as well give up completely and accept what I have done to myself and what is going to happen to me. I am just going to have to get used to the changes. Like today I thought of the Eric Clapton song "If I Saw You In Heaven" its about I son that died, and I started to cry a little.

[blanketcross]

Oh thank goodness you will give in and listen! That makes me feel so happy! Not much has changed for me, but I don't listen as much. I listen to the sub about 4 times last night.

[chase1]

If you can go into trance, and listen to the subliminal you should get faster results. It is strange, I think my hips and butt will grow before my boobs. I am a boob guy, but my mind keeps drifting to hips and butt. And i keep looking at the hips and butts of women as they pass.

[OxyFemboi]

[quote:15f4/\[url=(https?:\/\/[^\s\[]+):$uid\](.*?)\[\/url:$uid\]/i34b]chase1 wrote
Thanks Oxy, ill give them a try. I didn't really think those would work because in the file it specifically states that only EMG's curse removal file is the only thing that will stop this fiels effects. I ended up putting the file on loop. I have probably listened to it 1/\[url=(https?:\/\/[^\s\[]+):$uid\](.*?)\[\/url:$uid\]/i times this morning.[/quote:15f4/\[url=(https?:\/\/[^\s\[]+):$uid\](.*?)\[\/url:$uid\]/i34b]

Deprogram All is EMG's all-purpose deprogramming file, so it might be exempt from that suggestion. (If you believe that Deprogram All is exempt from that suggestion, your mind will treat it as exempt from that suggestion.) The only "bad effect" is that Deprogram All erases every suggestion from every file you've listened to. (For some of us -- me, for example -- that's a hell of a lot of files and even more suggestions.)

[chase1]

Thanks Oxy, but I am just going to give up resistance and go with it. After I took those pictures this morning and saw undeniable results, I have been feeling alot more sensations in my balls. It's like everything I have been experiencing was confirmed, and any doubt removed. It's like things kicked into high gear. I made this bed, so ill sleep in it.

[OxyFemboi]

[quote]chase1 wrote
Thanks Oxy, but I am just going to give up resistance and go with it. After I took those pictures this morning and saw undeniable results, I have been feeling a lot more sensations in my balls. It's like everything I have been experiencing was confirmed, and any doubt removed. It's like things kicked into high gear. I made this bed, so ill sleep in it.[/quote]

Okay, dude. Enjoy your transformation. I suggested other options so that you would know they were available. If you don't know an option exists, you can't use it.

[chase1]

I was off today so I didn't listen this morning, no time. I have no pain today, and my balls feel a little bigger, so I don't know if the effects are fading or progressing. I won't listen untill tonight.

[blanketcross]

Chase. Do you or do you not want your penis. None of the well sometimes this but no or sometimes this but yes bullshit. Do you wan't it or not.

[chase1]

I want my penis. I want my balls too. I also want nice boobs and a big butt. Apparently I want it all. But now my balls are really small. If I make a circle with my thumb and middle finger it goes around both. I don't have the strong urge to listen but I still feel a lot happening in my balls. Haven't felt pain today though.

[chase1]

Well, I am still listening. I don't have that super strong drive to listen, but i have found that if I don't listen I can't sleep. So at least once before bed. I had a head start on breasts, mild gynecomastia. My breast tissue has gotten softer, and my body fat is less dense. My balls still seem to be shrinking. And they are tingling like crazy alot of the time.

[OxyFemboi]

[quqte]chase1 wrote
want my penis. I want my balls too. I also want nice boobs and a big butt. Apparently I want it all. But now my balls are really small. If I make a circle with my thumb and middle finger it goes around both. I don't have the strong urge to listen but I still feel a lot happening in my balls. Haven't felt pain today though.[/quote]

It sounds as if you want to be a shemale. (That's a marketing term dreamed up by the porn industry but ,,, it seems to be an accurate description of your desires. There are files for that. Search "shemale" and "hermaphrodite". (I know there are other terms but can't think of them right now.)

Yoshi
??

[chase1]

I did something so out of character for myself, that I think I "broke" the curse. I feel much more like I did before I started the file. By balls are definitely smaller now, I may try a testicle growth file. I have people in my life that rely on me in so many ways, and the end result of chasing this rabbit down its hole will tear my family apart. Thanks for all the advice along this little journey. I will keep updating for a bit as to weather or not the hormonal changes still stick.

[blanketcross]

I am surprised to find myself to say this, but you need to stop listening. Ultimately it is your choice, but I really believe that you shouldn't listen. There are too many risks for the rewards.

[chase1]

[quote="blanketcross"]I am surprised to find myself to say this, but you need to stop listening. Ultimately it is your choice, but I really believe that you shouldn't listen. There are too many risks for the rewards.[/quote]

I haven't listened at all today. I don't have any desire to anymore, but I still feel changes happening. It could be that the hormonal changes have completed. I am going to listen to penis and testicle growth files to try and counter the effects.

Really, I was wanting too much. You can't have everything, some things have to be sacrificed for others in this life. People, especially innocents are more important.

[chase1]

I haven't listened to CHC for the last couple of days. Been listening to EMG's testicle growth, and donkey dick subliminal, and my ball have gotten firmer. Also I was having mostly clear ejaculate with a few while clouds. It has gone back to all white.

[chase1]

Since I am now going the other way, I am going to stop posting here. To all who want to continue to follow tho story, I have posted in masculinization.