Curse went horrbile wrong. Am I mentally Down?

For discussions of Feminization, Cross Dressing, Male-Female transformation, etc.

Moderator: EMG

Curse went horrbile wrong. Am I mentally Down?

Postby treckerfahrn » March 9th, 2022, 1:18 pm

Dear readers,

Yesterday I checked myself into psychiatry because I don't know what to do anymore.
I seem to have heard a ForcedFeminization File 15 or more years ago.
At that time I had absolutely no idea about FF or the existence of training files or curses. To this day I have no interest in it, not even in the topic. As a trans woman, I was only interested in the stories, but nothing more. I'm 47 and just too old for these things.

I've had "tinnitus" for 15 years, which has become more and more "German" over the past year and has been clearly audible as English text for a few days. I'm German.
Thanks to sleeping in and psychotropic drugs in the last two days, I now know the text that is circling in my head.

I was supposed to be disconnected from my consciousness for 24 hours and act accordingly as a feminized slave through triggers written on a blackboard. Theoretically.
I really don't remember what happened back then after such a long time, anyway this hypnosis is active in my head now and claims I didn't react to a warning.
Apparently I triggered myself with terms like "I am a Woman", "I" or "Everything". As a result, I am now permanently paralyzed and disconnected from my subconscious. Should I reconnect or even get an erection, I would automatically be a baby, teenager, femboi, or whatever.



This voice in my head can get incredibly loud and it's torture.
She constantly comments on almost every activity and tells me how to behave alternately as a baby, teenager, femboi. Girlie, Lady and Woman are also available accordingly.

This story is organized like a game, with penalties and rewards and up and down between baby and adult lady or femboi.
The only file I remember right now was called Corrective Feminization Therapy. I don't know where it came from exactly. She started with "Hello my name is Lea". Again, please believe me I had no idea at the time.

This is a situation I can't seem to get out of on my own. Unfortunately, she also seems to be quite unknown to my therapists.

Of course I tried the usual recommendations like will, forget, cleaning files and so on. The only answer I get in my head is "I can't remove myself".

If there is a solution or at least suggestions, please let me know. I am internally prepared for all sorts of answers, but this uncertainty of what it is is driving me insane as well.

If you have an answer that my therapists should read first, please send it as a zip file, I will then forward it unread. I would be happy to contact you via email instead. But I urgently need information from someone who is familiar with this matter.

Please help me. Hoping that someone from you honestly answers

Carina
treckerfahrn
Newbie
Newbie
 
Posts: 2
Joined: June 13th, 2005, 12:00 am

Re: Curse went horrbile wrong. Am I mentally Down?

Postby kslava » April 18th, 2022, 11:28 am

I seem to remember a feminization file back in the day that didn't appeal to me, because it involved baby play, which I'm absolutely not into. But that was only a minor part of the file. It was something like an hour long with a structure like:

Feminization file:
1. Relaxation
2. Heavy amnesia and draining
3. Retraining your memories from childhood
3a. Baby girl
3b. Teenage girl
3c. Grown woman
4. Maybe a permanency deal, curse or something?
5. Awakening

Best of luck to you as you clear things up. <3
kslava
Mentor
Mentor
 
Posts: 143
Joined: May 21st, 2005, 12:00 am

Re: Curse went horrbile wrong. Am I mentally Down?

Postby ranmafan » August 28th, 2022, 8:24 pm

sounds like a fun file :)
ranmafan
Mentor
Mentor
 
Posts: 235
Joined: June 12th, 2008, 12:00 am

Re: Curse went horrbile wrong. Am I mentally Down?

Postby james82 » September 4th, 2022, 5:20 am

and ranma is awesome
james82
Regular
Regular
 
Posts: 61
Joined: August 16th, 2009, 12:00 am

Re: Curse went horrbile wrong. Am I mentally Down?

Postby treckerfahrn » October 16th, 2022, 8:32 am

Hello again,

so it's been a few months now and some things have become clearer. I guess not better but clearer.

The very short version and my admission in advance:
I'm one of those idiots who thoughtlessly consumed and totally underestimated hypnosis and porn and now kind of have to live with the result. :?

The slightly more detailed version:
I've been in the hospital for two weeks since OP and have also received for a few weeks meds that have temporarily calmed my head. But a few weeks ago I realized that things were still wrong in my head and I had a relapse or maybe flashback out of nowhere.

I then also worked with the available Deproam files, which provided some clarity. I got rid of some triggers and suggestions I didn't even know I had them. They have been a chaotic mush mixed with daily background noises.

However, it was not possible to clear everything. I'm still struggling with two or three "curses" that I don't know exactly where they came from. I've always tried to avoid direct curses and conditioning.
I probably underestimated the effect of other things, for example, subliminals on YT.

One is (partially) Feminine Movement Curse.
The source of the second is unknown to me, but it is from the area of ​​forced feminization and very tricky because it can successfully defend itself against deprogramming. Maybe that's because of me, because they've been in me for so long and previous deprogramming couldn't work because of my ignorance and ignorance.
Simply saying No or not believing in it doesn't seem to work.
The third maybe from a bad HFO-File.

I'm sitting here pretty sleepless and overtired because these "leftovers" sometimes fight with each other quite loudly in my head. On the one hand a curse that I can't get rid of and tells me something about female fingertips, panties and female genitals, on the other hand a (more or less failed) deprogram project that wants me to be a man for 24 hours.

It's quite a mess that I can't exactly describe. It feels like both (or three) are working with the same triggers and the same sound or brain frequencies.

I've been listening to the files in my head for a long time and have now sorted and put the fragments together. I was able to make some conclusions about how these curses work and also the deprogram files. And I wish I could have read some of it somewhere beforehand.
Is it all so unknown or is it not posted/described anywhere so that others can believe in it or have a better effect?


This leads me to two points at the moment:
1. Does anyone have an idea to untie this knot of 3 Belts around my brain?

2. In retrospect, I find some descriptions simply grossly negligent. I think of an extra thread about deprograms but is that useful/wanted?
treckerfahrn
Newbie
Newbie
 
Posts: 2
Joined: June 13th, 2005, 12:00 am

Re: Curse went horrbile wrong. Am I mentally Down?

Postby diaperboi99 » October 17th, 2022, 6:03 pm

So, you were in the hospital for two weeks and received a few weeks of medication since your last post….which was 7 months ago.

I’m sorry but I’m gonna have to call some level of B.S.

Your story reeks of exaggeration and inconsistencies. And while many files do have reward/reinforcement pathways built in and some even have negative meant reinforcement or even “punishment” built in, taking 7 months off as well as getting professional help (like you say you did) would do a lot to get past a lot of that. I’m not saying it completely rewire everything but it would help quite a bit.

Instead, your post just sounds full of histrionics, like something you read from a fictional tale or something a troll posts on Reddit.

And if you are suffering, then please continue seeking professional help like you already have—not here, where some random person in the Internet can say whatever they want.

Either way, take care. :)
diaperboi99
Newbie
Newbie
 
Posts: 4
Joined: October 11th, 2022, 2:54 pm


Return to Feminizations Forum

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 5 guests