Unwelcomed trigger PMs?

[kitsukat]

After making a positive comment on a file the other day, I received a PM in which the user had tried to use the trigger mentioned in that file. The trigger didnt' work (due to the fact that they had used it wrong and I don't particularly respond to triggers being used by somebody that I don't know or trust), but I was still fairly annoyed at the fact that the user had tried.

I was wondering what the site's policy on sending and receiving unwelcome triggers via PM? Should I report/block the user that did it?

I mean, I comment on files that I've tried because it's polite to provide feedback for not only the hypnotist, but to other users who want to know how well the file worked, and I don't want to feel like I'm putting myself at risk of getting taken advantage of if I express a positive opinion on a file with triggers.

[sfhole2stretch]

The party who tried that is an idiot. Either a total newby without a clue or a predator. Sadly their are lunatics in every corner of the world. A great lesson that we all need to be very careful, mindful and aware.

[TeenWolf]

i know it doesn't matter, but what was the trigger?
if sexual, most likely a predator/paedophile.
ive had someone do that before with a jock trigger. having listening to the files for months, it was almost instinct to instantly respond. oh well.

[kitsukat]

I know revealing the trigger helps with context, but that's kind of straying from the topic. I know there are idiots/predators/people out there that will try to take advantage of me. I never really stray too far away from sites like that when browsing the internet.

However, I'm wondering what the site's policy on messages like that. Should I seek further action, or just ignore it? What if the trigger had worked?

Should I really feel like I can't add my input on files due to fear of being taken advantage of?

[zapnosis]

I would report that if it bothered you. It says on the intro page:

"We ask that users do NOT use trigger phrases in the chat rooms or messages, it isn't polite and can cause problems."

So I guess that's the policy.

[kitsukat]

Yeah, I was trying to find out if there was a more detailed version of that particular policy, but I did send EMG a PM about it.

I'm currently debating whether I should publicly call out the person that did it.

[Fizbin]

I'm currently debating whether I should publicly call out the person that did it.

That's one I struggled with a while back. It wasn't the same issue, but I decided that I would just talk about the offending behavior, without naming names, and see what happened.

In my case, I think they got the message, as the behavior seems to have stopped.

Unfortunately, stalkers and other predators probably aren't as inclined to interpret subtlety... :?

[zapnosis]

Yeah, I was trying to find out if there was a more detailed version of that particular policy, but I did send EMG a PM about it.

I'm currently debating whether I should publicly call out the person that did it.

I think it depends on circumstances. There are many cases where PMing triggers might be considered acceptable or even expected, for example if someone has trained with the e-mail slave file and publicly welcomed messages. If you feel that the trigger you received was malicious or dangerous then I recommend reporting it to EMG.

[kitsukat]

I think it depends on circumstances. There are many cases where PMing triggers might be considered acceptable or even expected, for example if someone has trained with the e-mail slave file and publicly welcomed messages. If you feel that the trigger you received was malicious or dangerous then I recommend reporting it to EMG.

That's the thing, I didn't welcome any triggers. I think messages like that should be acceptable only when it's explicitly welcomed.

Not to mention that the trigger was fairly malicious in intent. The PM said something along the lines of, "So if I say <trigger>, you'll do whatever I want?" Even if they had said it wrong, the intent was still there.

Since I've sent EMG a note about it, that's out of my hands at this point. What I'm wondering is if I should publicly state the offending user's name in order to blacklist/shame them.

[oraprog]

Oooh, humiliation. Maybe that was his intent to start with.

You should have the ability to ignore the person? You've reported them to the admin. Can't do much more, let it go.

[xavious]

My knowledge of hypnosis suggests that if you didn't want to, you wouldn't have done it anyway. Of course that doesn't negate how badly this person has acted.

I understand how you feel though. On another site to do with other fetishes I got so annoyed that people would message me and speak to me in a particular way without any established agreement purely because of my age and appearance. It was pretty insulting and I was often made to feel bad as though I had deceived them.

If a person states outright that they are a sub and love any tist messaging them and trying to trance them, then fine, but if some kind of understanding hasn't been set up then what that person did is wrong.

[kitsukat]

Oh look! I got another one! This one via IM, and, honestly, I'm too pissed right now to show restraint about keeping the offending user's name and the conversation private.

(1:24:46 PM) hypnotrainher: hiya
(1:25:00 PM) kitsukat: hi hi
(1:25:53 PM) hypnotrainher: <trigger>
(1:26:15 PM) kitsukat: don't do that
(1:26:24 PM) hypnotrainher: are you worried
(1:26:28 PM) hypnotrainher: about your obedience
(1:26:29 PM) hypnotrainher: your will
(1:26:32 PM) hypnotrainher: slipping away?
(1:26:34 PM) kitsukat: no, I'm pissed
(1:26:44 PM) kitsukat: I never gave you permission to do that
(1:27:26 PM) kitsukat: I never gave anybody permission to do that.
(1:27:28 PM) hypnotrainher: My apologies. I thought we might explore the breast/nipple play that you mentioned earlier...
(1:27:37 PM) kitsukat: Learn some respect before you message people

Seriously, if I post my results for a particular file, I don't want to be put at risk of being taken advantage of, and I don't take kindly to it at all. I honestly don't know whether this guy has the same username here.

This guy has disrespected me before, and I honestly don't know why I didn't block him earlier. Probably because he stopped talking to me last time I told him off...

[kitsukat]

First of all, this is a completely different person from earlier. I never got a reply from the first one.

Secondly, I've had issues with this guy before, but didn't block him last time because he stopped talking after I told him off. This was too much, and I really felt violated.

It's not about feeding the trolls, it's about maintaining a feeling of safety, since this fetish relies on mutual trust between the tists and the subjects. I shouldn't feel like I'm putting myself at risk just for sharing my experiences.

Besides, isn't it good to blacklist the users that try to take advantage of others? Isn't it good for subjects to know which users to avoid?

[Mutazoa]

I would say setting up a blacklist of potential abusers would be a good thing. Its one thing to invite people to trip your triggers, its completely different to try to ambush some one with them. If we have a list of people to be wary of, it could make things safer for everyone here.

[Calimore]

Hi, this is Calimore at the Emergency Center, an imaginary construct devised for the duration of this post.

We're sorry, but we can't keep creeps from PMing people with common open triggers or triggers they've previously divulged. Most of us are just fetishists (read that pervs), hoping to have a little harmless fun. We're sorry there are predators out there. Please do be careful.

We as a Community need to police ourselves. Brave people who've been abused can easily come forth and state the fact and shame the party in question, daring them to say otherwise. That's what this brave lass has done and good for her! Now everyone knows that the issue exists between them and they can respond as they see fit. If you maintain a block or personal blacklist, you now have something to consider.

This is a recording.

One quick edit: notice how the girl mostly wanted to be RESPECTED by the perv that PM'd her? It really does pay to play nice - those that do usually are the only ones that get to play AND re-play. ;)