by privateidaho03 » November 5th, 2012, 6:13 am
thanks to everyone who offered helpful ideas and support! it's also been fun and interesting reading other guys' experiences with the shrink files. thought it's about time i give an update on what's going on...
check the gallery if you want the visuals. i finally got around to posting some "progress" ("regress"?) pics ... i put a lot of details of my story on the photo captions, but i'll give a little summary here too. i used to have a pretty big cock... maxed out at 7.5" long by 6.0" around. i would get compliments all the time. some women even told me i was too big. coming out of puberty, my cock was only about 6" long. nothing special. ten years ago i discovered jelqing and within a year i added 1.5" of length and 0.5" girth.
when i first noticed sarnoga's "teeny weenie" file i was intrigued. having an above-average size cock was fine but never proved nearly as exciting as i wanted it to be. i still found myself gravitating to cuckold stories and fantasizing about being dominated, even humiliated, by naturally well endowed dudes.
i decided to listen to sarnoga's file one time, in a light trance. but i started to freak out about five minutes before it was over. originally i figured a single listen wouldn't hurt me, since other hypnosis files i'd tried took many repeated listens to "burn in." however, during this file i could feel a strange tingling in my cock, i could actually feel it working right away, feel it shrinking my cock...
the next day i tried edging for a while and i wasn't getting quite as hard or as long as usual. within a few days it became apparent that all my jelqing gains were gone!! i was back to my original 6," just like that! but it didn't stop there. when i made my original post, my cock had already shrunk to 5" and i was seriously freaking out and wanting it to stop.
not having money for custom curse removal at the time, i tried people's suggestions... seven days of HypnoticReset, seven days of DeprogramAll, seven days of TrigPenisGrowth... and no luck :( in fact during that time it seemed that i was still shrinking!!
after a lot of soul searching, i realized that maybe on some level i really did want a teeny weenie. maybe that's why the file was working so well, so fast ... because it was activating a latent desire deep inside me. the file had turned me on so much before, even thoughts of it would make me hard. so finally I said "fuck it" and relented ... gave into my curiosity and growing erotic urge to listen to "Teeny Weenie" again. i had the presence of mind to throw the file into audacity and clip out the parts about ball shrinkage and "no erections" ... i'm not ready to give up my "boys" or my "pathetic stiffie" yet! I listened to the modified file seven times in seven days ... and just like that it took another 1" off my length and 1/8" off my girth. leaving me today at barely 4" long and 4.75" around :P
the craziest part about this whole thing is the effect it's having on my personality. not as a direct result of the file, but as the result of my new self-concept as a smaller guy. i have to admit, ordinarily i'm pretty fucking cocky. i suppose i can even be an asshole sometimes. i'm not afraid to intimidate other guys with my size and my intelligence. a lot of people just naturally defer to me.
but lately i've been feeling a growing humility, almost sheepishness, around other guys. my cock size now puts me in the bottom 2% of men, whereas before i was in the 99th percentile. when i'm with other guys, hanging out with my friends, etc., i can't help thinking about their cocks and how much bigger they probably are than mine. even when I see teenagers and younger guys ... i realize there's a good chance their pre-pubescent cocks are already bigger than mine. there's something terribly humiliating and insulting about that. and at the same time its tremendously arousing.
i find myself almost constantly aroused these days. but it's different, subtler, mixed with other strange emotions. my attitude used to be that i was "God's gift to women." now I feel it changing ... i'm getting the sense that my life's role is "humble servant of the Goddess." i feel myself becoming less selfish and more open, kinder, and softer toward others. i feel i want to enrich other people's lives whereas before I only wanted to enrich my own. i want to find a woman who I can shower with love and affection and protection. i want to make sure all her needs are taken care of ... even if I'm not man enough to fulfill the most important one, it doesn't matter as long as she is fulfilled ... i would make sure she has easy guilt-free access to whatever real men she desires to meet her needs and give her that true deep pleasure that makes life worth living.
it's like a whole new erotic landscape is opening up for me. a lot of my old forbidden desires ... bicuriosity, curiosity about being penetrated, cuckold fantasies ... are coming to life in a whole new way. i'm not sure where all this is headed. i can only close by saying ... and i NEVER thought i would be saying this ... but i think i'm falling in love with my teeny weenie! <3