mondaytuesday wrote:HeadMistress Squirrel,
I think that it doesn't really mean much anymore what I think about what's happening. Reading your post again, the one about the feeling like a rubber band snapping. I hadn't even noticed that my body had settled into the finished alteration of no more stiffies.
But it has. I can't remember the last time I stopped getting stiffies. It's been a while, though. Even longer since I had what I didn't know was going to be my last ejaculation. I am sure I felt the sensation, but did not know enough about it to hold on to the memory.
Contractions around my bladder have been a sensation that I feel a lot now. More than I did in the past. It causes me to let loose little dribbles out of my button. But I don't get as upset as often anymore.
I am feeling more and more, a happiness fill me, when I notice ways that I am being changed.
i also want others to know something. It doesn't bother me that the stiffies are gone. They weren't for me. I am so happy that I now get the tingling and tightening together feeling when I get aroused. I like that better.
Just now, a memory came to me. It was while I was in the later years of childhood and I knew that puberty loomed in front of me. I told my older brother that I had figured out a way to not get the gross hair on my body and all the other things. I told him that I would take injections of female hormones and stop it from ever happening. I had already spent my small life, fighting against milestones which would announce I was growing up. I did not want to do it anymore.
perhaps this persuit of happiness is finally coming to reality. the urge and need to receive this orgasmic pleasure, the contentment and fulfillment afterwards, is your goal.
gone is the 'pressure to perform' sexually. here is the sexual self-gratification.no obvious sign of arousal for lack of pathetic stiffies, all arousal is visually hidden.. lust and desire bridled with feelings of pleasure bidding you continue..no depression,only joy. rid of the need to prove your value by penetrating someone..a sweet relief..no worries about having to stay erect. now your lovely little button can be diddled to your heart's delight...