ViVe's Losing Yourself ... becoming an IT instead of an I

[OxyFemboi]

DAY 1 ... November 10, 2015

LOSING YOURSELF
This is a “conditioning style” file… after listening you will start to think of yourself in the third person and refer to yourself as “it” in your thoughts… and over time it will increase in frequency… become automatic… until you can only think of yourself as an “it” in the third person…
This will not affect speaking, in fact you won’t be able to talk about you as an it… but your mind will remind you every time you refer to yourself as you that in fact you are an it…
Be careful… there is no saying what only be able to think about yourself as a thing, an “it” will do to you! Really be careful! Listen on your own risk! And keep in mind that the effects come slowly over time!!
Link: http://www.vivehypnosis.de/?p=1153

I started listening to ViVe's Losing Yourself file today. I was going to listen only once or twice to the file. I forgot that I had toggled Repeat on earlier to listen to a new CD. As a result, I have no idea how many times I listened to the file. It was at least several hours.

When It finally woke up, It was fairly spaced out. It thought of trying to summarize what this file was made to do in its own words. Here's what It came up with: Losing Yourself will make It refer to itself as a an It instead of as an It. Wait, that doesn't sound right ... and tried again. Losing Yourself will make It refer to itself as an It instead of as an It. At this point, It said, Fuck it! and quit.

It wishes It knew more languages so It could curse in them. It knew that there was something wrong with that phrasing but damned if It could figure out what was wrong.

It plans to report what the residual effects are tomorrow.

It will report periodically on its progress.

[GrimWolf]

Does this file affect all of your different...personalities? Or just the main one?

[OxyFemboi]

GrimWolf wrote
Does this file affect all of your different...personalities? Or just the main one?

It's a great question. It's too bad that none of us have any idea of what the answer is.

On one hand, we've had one friend say that since it affects the (shared?) subconscious, it should affect all of us. We do share a common memory, but only the person who made the memory has access to the emotional aspects; we refer to this as the "emotional overlay", for lack of better terminology. Of course, we seem to be making up a lot of this as we go along, including new terminology. It's not like there are textbooks or popularizations like Multiple Personalities for Dummies available on how to be Multiple personalities.

On the other hand, only one of us is listening to it or paying attention to it.

On the third tentacle, at least one of us -- Snake -- is a demon and by definition is already "non-human" and "not a person". (Snake has volunteered to take over our subconscious so it won't affect those who don't want to be a "thing".)

So ... ~shrug~ We don't know either. We'll let you know if and when we find out.

[OxyFemboi]

Day 2 ... November 11, 2015

When it woke up, it was still affected by the file. It was horny from the file, so we wanked. When we were planning our day, we were thinking "It has to do _____ and then _____."

As the day passed, so did the effects. We didn't expect even that much carryover so soon. It usually takes a few days to build up enough impact to carry beyond a few hours.

This is an encouraging sign.

We're a multiple personality ever since we listened to the Your Other Half file. We've always had trouble deciding what the proper pronoun to refer to ourself should be. This just adds another layer of confusion to the mix. Before the question was only singular vs plural pronoun; this file also adds the question of first person vs. third person neuter ... which at least allows us to ignore the male/female, cis/trans pronoun question.

We're getting a migraine, so we may not listen today. We'll make up for it later.

[OxyFemboi]

Day 3 ... November 12, 2015

I did listen to the file last night after I slept my migraine away.

I am becoming extremely uncomfortable about using the word "I" when referring to myself. It seems much easier and more ... attractive(?) ... more accurate to use IT to refer to myself instead.

I intend to do much more listening today.

[OxyFemboi]

Day 4 ... November 13, 2015

It listened to the file a few more times today. It's not feeling any different. One of two possibilities exist: the file is taking its time working -- or -- the file could be affecting it without it realizing it.

[OxyFemboi]

Day 5 ... November 14, 2015

It's been listening but has not noticed much change. It has tried to help the file along by deliberately thinking -- and writing -- of itself as an IT but IT's still using I most of the time. IT's not thinking of itself as IT most of the time ... yet.

(Since I've never felt as if I actually was a part of the human race, I'm really disappointed that I'm not a thing/non-human yet. The multiple personalities might be hindering the file. After all, one of us is non-human already; Snake is a demon. Or I could just be impatient for the file to work ....)

[ViVe]

In general: Don't stress it, and let it happen on it's own. Referring to yourself as "I" is probably one deepest engrained behaviours you have (can you come up with something you did more often in you life?). Of course that's easier said than done, especially if you're impatient, but just let it happen. Don't force it or anything, that's counterproductive in my experience.

The whole multiple aspect is intriguing. Who is listening to it? All of you? Just one? Does it change? How do you experience your different identities during a trance?

[OxyFemboi]

ViVe wrote
In general: Don't stress it, and let it happen on it's own. Referring to yourself as "I" is probably one deepest engrained behaviours you have (can you come up with something you did more often in you life?). Of course that's easier said than done, especially if you're impatient, but just let it happen. Don't force it or anything, that's counterproductive in my experience.

The whole multiple aspect is intriguing. Who is listening to it? All of you? Just one? Does it change? How do you experience your different identities during a trance?

Thanks for the advice. We'll follow it as best we can.

As for the multiple aspect, we don't know lots of things about being multiple. either. We're learning as we go. The following was written by Yoshi (mostly) with lots of suggestions from everybody else. I -- Yoshi -- tried to edit it so that it read smoothly but, if it seems disjointed, it is a composition with multiple authors.

Ox is the one who wanted to listen to Losing Yourself. Ox is --we think -- the only one listening to Losing Yourself. Ox -- he is more or less the original personality -- literally felt (and still feels) as if he never belonged anywhere. Since he found out recently that he was adopted --both parents are dead and there is literally no one available to ask for more information -- that lack of having a place in this world intensified. When Ox read about this file, it naturally became the top of his list of files to do. After all, he already felt as if he didn't belong; this file is a natural extension of that feeling of never belonging, never fitting in. If you want an analogy, he felt like he was a pentagonal peg and there were only rectangular, triangular, and circular holes available.

Ox listens and goes into trance; while Ox is in trance, I --Yoshi -- take over the body to answer e-mails and browse the web. Whether that means that both of them are listening or not, we're not sure.

To further complicate matters, one of our personalities, Snake, is a demon and thus non-human by definition.

We usually did our listening to mp3 hypnofiles before going to bed. However, when our mp3 player decided to quit working, we started listening while on the computer. That didn't work so well while we had to use the apartment building's computer room while we saved up enough money to buy a new one after a fairly spectacular crash. Since we have our own computer now, listening is much easier.

We're not sure if we completely share a subconscious, partially share a subconscious while we each have our own private areas, or if we each have our own subconscious. Regardless, we do share some things in common, like most memories.

None of us have any idea how we experience our different identities during a trance. We're either in the background dong something else while one personality is "driving", or we can be co-conscious and chat with the person who's "out front".

We each have a house/mansion/ivory tower/whatever in our mind; each of us perceives it differently. We each have our own private spaces in the house/etc., and we share a common house/etc. with rooms for each of us as well as a library for shared knowledge, shared memories -- most memories are held in common in case one of us needs to respond to something someone else experienced -- but someone else's memories lack the emotional overlay that person experienced, and other rooms. There is also a large, comfortable family room where we can meet to discuss things which affect some or all of us. An example of something affecting all of us is our next tattoo: style, theme, size, placement, and artist.

It sounds complicated when I write it all out, and I suppose it is, but we're used to it.

[ViVe]

Huh. So are you in trance? Is it possible for just one identity to be in trance? This throws up quite a few interesting questions!

I have to research the topic a bit more!

Oh... and I never tranced a demon... but that's only for a lack of those in the local kink scene! :P

[OxyFemboi]

ViVe wrote
Huh. So are you in trance? Is it possible for just one identity to be in trance? This throws up quite a few interesting questions!

Um, yes, we think it is possible for only one identity to be in trance. We have gotten files to work while doing this. We freely admit that we could be wrong; we're not experts at this by any means. Much of this is new to us. We don't have a reference book that came with being made multiple.

ViVe wrote
I have to research the topic a bit more!

Please send us copies or website links of whatever credible research materials you find.

ViVe wrote
Oh... and I never tranced a demon... but that's only for a lack of those in the local kink scene!

If you have a volunteer, we could send a copy of the file that more-or-less produced Snake, though Snake tells us that he's not the only demon in residence. There was another demon, Apollyon, already present as a result of a Samhain pact Ox made when he was in graduate school.

[blanketcross]

Err this is a bit off subject, but I remember a while back you talked about how each person within your body had their own mansion/ivory tower, etc that is only for them? Are the other personalities allowed in others mansions?

[OxyFemboi]

blanketcross wrote
Err this is a bit off subject, but I remember a while back you talked about how each person within your body had their own mansion/ivory tower, etc that is only for them? Are the other personalities allowed in others mansions?

Each of us has our own place, which can be as simple or as elaborate as each of us desires to envision it. Like the Tardis, the interior is much bigger than the exterior and contains whatever each of us needs or desires. Each place also contains a doorway which connects to a shared common area which has basic agreed-upon functions. These functions include a a kitchen, a library, and a common room where any of us can meet in a neutral area to socialize and. if needed, talk about problems.

Each of us, of course, may choose to visit another's home. We all get along quite well. However, we always leave a note in the common area mail room. Some of us are extremely introverted and like to "recharge" in solitude; some have ongoing delicate experiments; and others just appreciate the courtesy of being asked.

[JackDrago]

Oxy created it with my Cabin in the Woods file. You can have a cabin of your own pretty easily.

[OxyFemboi]

Sorry I haven't posted in so long. I got ...well ... hmm ... sidetracked with some weird (even for me) "real life" shit as well as listening to other files that seemed to have more immediate payoffs. (Yeah, dude, we really wanted to be raped by Cthulhu.)

However, I started listening to Losing Yourself again today, December 1, 2015. I went really deep using it today.

There's a dude on Tumblr who has been using a lot of ViVe's files -- http://vivelvive.tumblr.com in case you're interested; I found his blog when searching for hypnosis stuff on Tumblr. The first file he reported using was Losing Yourself. I read all the posts again, and I remembered why I wanted to use the file: it sounds like a fun way to change my mental image of myself.

He's now reporting on the fifth week of Evil Drone Conversion and the drone seems to have completely replaced what human personality he had left. (I'm not going to use that file unless I have a really understanding boyfriend who loves kinky hypnosis.)

[OxyFemboi]

It was listening to Losing Yourself last night when it felt a ... it's not quite sure how to put this without it sounding hokey ... shift in the universe. It wasn't quite an earth-shifting experience, more like a shift in perception. It felt as if there was some sort of shift or perception change or ... hell, it doesn't know.

Maybe the file took effect and it doesn't feel the difference? But maybe there was some sort of ...

Oh, fuck. It's not making any sense even to itself!

If you can figure out what it's trying to say, please tell it. Thanks!

[outkast1728]

What youre trying to say is that the file has been working great for "it" for weeks, but "it" finnaly felt a new level of success with the file, resonating with your soul

[dbhypn0]

Any update on this? I've been lurking here for a while and just HAD to post to see what's happening with this one.

[OxyFemboi]

Outkast wrote
What you're trying to say is that the file has been working great for "it" for weeks, but "it" finally felt a new level of success with the file, resonating with your soul

dbhypn0 wrote
Any update on this? I've been lurking here for a while and just HAD to post to see what's happening with this one.

Greetings.

Actually Outkast pretty much hit the nail on its head. It did feel a new level of ... well, resonance is as good a word as any we can find right now.

It is feeling as if a new outlook has been given to it. It's definitely different than its old outlook. Not better,not worse, just ... different. More otherness. It's still using first person pronouns at times, and yet ... it feels as if they aren't applicable any more ... that they shouldn't be used ... but it's using them more out of habit than as a result of any conviction that they should be used instead of it.

It has also concluded that using "they" is a wonderful solution to its problem with pronouns since becoming a multiple personality.

If you're that interested, dbhypn0, you should listen to the file for a few times.

Here's a link: http://www.vivehypnosis.de/?p=1153

Yoshi

[blanketcross]

Everytime i check up on this forum and see your reffering to yourselves as it (or they) I cant help but think of Gollum from LOTR

[OxyFemboi]

blanketcross wrote
Everytime i check up on this forum and see your referring to yourselves as it (or they) I cant help but think of Gollum from LOTR

Well, at least it's not cooing over a ring like Smeagol did, going, "Myyy presssciousssss!" (It saves that for its favorite hypnofiles.)

[dbhypn0]

If you're that interested, dbhypn0, you should listen to the file for a few times.

Here's a link: http://www.vivehypnosis.de/?p=1153

Yoshi

Eep! Umm, I think I'll pass on it for now... Wayyyy too nervous on the "what if it actually works on me" aspect.