i'm hooked to the file, and to the hpynotic deepener.

it's difficu;t to say in words what's happening. i have moments of absence when i'm not doing anything special. then i have moments of lucidity like nothing ever happened. if i stay in the flow i can do stuff but if i happen to have a moment or an incident of fogginess ther is just nothingness. itcomes and goes and i like it that way. 

i want to hournal but it's simply too difficult to express what i want. writing and thking is very very exausting

this is only the 3rd day (is it?) 

what will happen in the long run? im very exited