i want to journal this but dont know what to write ; its probbably boring for you guys who read this.

anyway, slowlo slowly the effects settle in and happen more often. forgetfulnes happens more often. i remind myself to do something but then i forget what is  was. so planning is sometimes dificlult. other times all is like  normal or SEEMS normal but then sudden i get hit by blackouy

sometimes there are NO thoughts at all. nothing, nada, zero. that doesnt last long but realising it is soooo nice. i love it. no chatter and inner bla bah bla. or also very cool to be stuck on a single very simpel thought like a word or two going round ans round 

even when i can thibk straight writing is ALWAS so exausting. its a huge big effort. so fuck writing. writing makes thinking also hard and exhaustung. and write so sloow. at least all the mistakes help make effcts better still. that is fun and i want.

anyone  wannt comment or encourage me many thx please