Another confession. Another chapter.

Dear Gentle Readers. In this, as it were, please be open minded as before. Here we have another gentle listener. I need point out you, the reader make this all the hit it is. I need thank you all. I have changed the name of the girl yet the place setting is generally the same. I wrote her in a different state, in her country. Please read along and be open minded to this subject.

I read along at this site. I read Haxsaw or the group called Haxsaw accepted confessions from what they refer to as gentle readers. I want give my confession. I was assured my name would not be used. Thank you, Haxsaw for using me!
I don't know how to start yet chatted with a Haxsaw representative on-line from the site called warpmymind. I thank the E.M.G outfit for running this site. I was really withdrawn. Gregg and I were never really close. I mean, I did whatever my church told me. I wanted to be the correct wife for him, okay? I wanted to please him. Something was holding me back.
I went and bought several files. A few times I woke up naked and unable to move! I hated Haxsaw. I hated his guts! My Bible taught me to not hate anyone. I went back and listened to the files again and again. I found certain things were occurring to me.
Several times I was entranced. I was believing I was this doll for him. It was odd feeling. It was why I first hated Haxsaw. I never had this happen. I was going back though. As if though thirsty I was going to dip in, over and over. It was not sexual. I mean, I wanted Haxsaw to simply command and tell me what to do. It did not seem bad. I wanted to first fight that feeling. It was really odd. I went with it though. I was really beginning to like the idea of being told what to do. I did not care what my friends at church said. I wanted to be told what to do. I felt secure in following order. Suddenly, following order made sense. I mean, at first, I would have done anything Haxsaw told me to. It sounds stupid or really lame to sit here and write this. In reality, feeling that I was what I really wanted as the girl I am. I never knew I wanted this either. Wow!
I was looking at my reflection. I would be doing my hair and talking about what I did not like about me. I was discovering it was not Gregg's fault. I was holding back because I was not liking me. I chatted this out with Haxsaw and he told me what files to buy. What a change! I was finding I was tingling inside whenever my Cell phone rang. I stopped bringing my cell along to church. Heheheh! I went and stayed up past midnight once. I found I was under his powers again. Haxsaw later told me matters very personal in our chats. I went to Greg while we were alone.
It was a Sunday, after church. We were out back, way out back. I was alone with him. I was nervous yet wanted him more than anything on earth. I knew this was it. I called and coaxed Gregg over. He followed me. We were under a tree. I was shaded by the branches. It was so romantic! I wanted to be taken over by him, right then and there! I knew everything had to have its place. I told him we had planned on marriage. He told how I stalled so often. I said I was wrong to do this. I wanted to obey God and give myself to him, fully. Gregg was really, really confused. I reached out and touched his arm. I need tell you Gregg works lumber. He had rugged arms. I confessed to Gregg I needed him, right then and there. I told him it was as easy as counting to three. I knew I had not enough nerve to ask or say a yes. I knew this was going to work, though.
"One, two three."
Gregg snapped his fingers as I asked him to. My eyes glazed over as I stared into the eyes of my true love. Gregg asked me if I was alright. I was standing there, looking foolish. He asked me if I loved him. I mindlessly said, "Yes."
It was wonderful! We stood there eye to eye. He asked me if I would marry him. All I said was yes, over and over. We both ended up crying. I was crying like a baby. Look, I have seen the other files by Hasaw yet from what I have heard so far this guy could have been a preacher. I would have dropped fifty dollar bills in the plate to hear a man like him preach. The spring of 2013 Gregg and I will marry. I never was so happy until I realized the trouble was me, all along. Thank you, Haxsaw. I am happy, at last. Thank God too.
Thank you,
Patty