I just got home....my head is still spinning from all this.....I seriously just.....I don't even know what to type. I feel like I have to organise this out here to make sense of everything to myself.

I was bored to hell last night.....I wound up giving my friend from college a call (the same one I posted about meeting up with "recently"), and she actually picked up. She was busy yesterday, but told me she was free tonight since it's the weekend & so we made plans for me to go to her house & hang out + dinner. I wound up staying awake until about 11am this morning, so I slept straight through the afternoon.

I cleaned up & headed out earlier this evening - all of it was normal until just a few hours ago. We had a bit of wine with dinner (only enough for taste), and I'm seriously thinking she got herself a bit wasted even though she was denying it. We poked through a few things on her Netflix account, until I made some comment about a cute guy.....I don't even remember the fucking conversation at this point.

After the chat, she asks me if I've ever been "serious" with another woman yet - I obviously laughed it off & told her no......and she immediately moved in and stuck her hand down my panties.

I guess I'm a bit more calm now.....my head is still in a fog, but thinking back to it is getting me a bit hot still. ....she started to finger around a little and asked if I wanted her to stop.....I was gone at that point. I cant even describe it - lightheaded, confused/disoriented.....she pressed on me HARD with her fingers and I accidentally yelled out something. I don't remember what she said about my mumbling, but she kept going. I completely lost it......the only thing I was thinking about......I remember scrambling to get the little zipper and button down on my jeans.

She made me orgasm my brains out on her living room couch. She said she wanted some fun for herself too.....I don't know how long she was gone.....she came back and said she put her vibrator in and asked if I could slide my jeans and panties down a little more - it seriously didn't even seem like it was me moving, but I somehow slid them down a bit.......she started using her tongue on my clit & my mind outright blanked. All I can remember is me moaning and crying a bit......I don't think I've ever felt so good, and she just kept going while her vibrator was running.

I kind of just stayed there pant-less for a while......I was beyond "out of it" and dripping all over my clothes.

Once I got my head a bit clearer, I got myself cleaned up in her bathroom & started collecting my stuff to leave - she'd passed out on the couch waiting for me......I had absolutely no idea.......what to think or to say, so I just went home. I think I got in around 3am......I've been hot, lightheaded, but cant bring myself to really do anything.

I don't even know what to feel at this point. I have no idea if I can even bring myself to face her after all that......I cant deny it was awesome, but......I guess when I really think about it, I'm scared that this could turn our relationship into.......I guess "friends with benefits" would be the term. I just feel like I'm either going to puke right now or desperately need to make out with someone.....I'm too mentally exhausted to.....exist right now.