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izatga88's Recent Entries

hey there everyone! ~ <3

by izatga88

so i've been like, trying to sleep & stuff for the last few hours, but i've been having the urge to psot something up here.....it's totally crazy how.....um....powerful(?) that command is - i really can't like, rest or anything until i get this out of me. the more i lay there trying to rest, the more horny i'm getting too as i try to fight it & sleep - my hands can't work my fucking clit hard enough, and i felt like a waterfall of pussy juice dropped out of me when i got up to go to my desk....

i've been like, all super giggly, and my head's been spinning for like......hmm.....maybe like all evening or something? i got into a bit of a fight with my mum.....i've been feeling weird ever since. the big thing i remember is that she was all like, yelling at me & stuff about how i've been acting lately, and she said something like "you should know this sort of stuff, why is it like yuor common sense has umm....disapeared?". i dunno why, bit that hit me like a truck......she was totally right y'know? i've been so.....um, so....unable to go & do something i guess, unless i was like, commanded to - she was totally right, and all i could do was just stare at her in shock for like, yelling at me about it.....she doesn't really yell too much either

i don't know why, but it feels like something kida like, snapped or whatever after she said that, 'cause I started trying to think about what she said.....i've been like, living since last year & going "listen to programming, get rewarded with pleasure; listen to programming, get rewarded with pleasure....." i don't really try to act & think for myself so muych anymore. the more i thought about it, it really started to hit me that i was like, totally turning into a slave to my programming......it just feels SOOOOO good to stop thinking and submit....comply.... my head gets all super-fuzzy, i feel really warm, my pussy starts gushing......

even like, after this weekend, i can't keep my hands off of myself now.......i'm like, constantly feeling pleasured and all horny & stuff.......i didn't even realise it, but i've picked up odd little....um.....habits from the programming. i don't even get like, songs or new thoughts stuck in my head anymore - it's all just like, re-runs of the programming or something.......i can't stop thinking about anyof it! i dunno why.....my mum even might have used a trigger word at me.....i'm just not sure, but ever since all that, all of that um......"securty(?)" i put up to give me control over this & function......it almost totaly feels like it was smashed.

when i'd started, i couldn't remember a lot of my time spent all bimbo-y, and it was like really hard to function hwen i couldn't remember the day before. a big part of staying in control kinda um....remembering stuff was kinda important, but now, it might have......worked against me a little? lol~ i feel like the "me" going out & working or facing friends/family is like, some fake now.......the REAL me is the one that wants to be covered from head to ass in cum & sucking cocks......OMG i SWEAR it just feels too good.....i just can't stop......i get hornyer and wetter......it feels like my brains are cumming out or something ~ sooooo hard to think......

hee ~ so um, yeah.....that "voice" that used to be in my head and keep me from just like, jumping in & doing stuff.....it's gotten so quiet lately......all i hear when i think now is "comply" and "nice juicy cock". y;know, it's funny, 'cause that dumb logic-stuff in my head is kinda like, telling me that something about all of this isn't right...exactly......um.....but i don't really FEEL like anything is wrong. in fact, i feel powerful! powerful, sexy, um....confident, in control of stuff.....it's like, the most totally-awesome stuff i've ever felt~!

bleh ~ it's like, 1am and i STILL don't feel tired.....it's been like, super-hard not to say something.....dirty(?) when working or to people i know......panting like a slut & talking about porn-kinda stuff.....it slips out of my mouth so easily.....everything just feels so good.....my tits feel a bit larger & rounder......my ass just feels awesome.....i never wanted to have anything to do with it (eew, dirty~), but it just feels sooooo good to like, stick it out a bit, or spread or shake it a bit........EVERYTHING on my body is so sensitive.....the smallest touch or rub feels like it causes a small orgasm. gawd.....my pussy is like, moist 24/7 now & ready for "instant-sex" at any time ~ lol.....

Comments

- izatga88

almost forgot ~ i ALWAYS like, try to figure out & read PMs when i notice i got one, so like, if i dont reply to it or answer a question or something in a ~biiiig post like this one, try sending it again with like, other words & stuff if you see a new post, yet no reply......sometimes i forget them a little if i'm busy ~ XP

- BillionSix

I know that you have said you are waiting for a boyfriend to fuck. But the way your mind is headed, I think you might go full bimbo. I think it will take one slip-up. One moment where a guy takes you aside and fucks you. And your body will scream with pleasure, and your brain will say, "This is awesome! This is what I should be doing!" Then once you are past that barrier, you will be a total slut and start fucking cock after cock. So, I say, carry condoms. Just in case. Keep them in your purse. Be careful. Be safe.

- zapnosis

Iz, have you considered telling someone in your family about your experiment? I mean, if you're considering surgery and suchlike, they're going to notice something sooner or later, aren't they? Or are they really conservative about this stuff?

- izatga88

i've kinda been aware about that....the only thing that's like holding me back or anything is that above all the other stuff, i'm ~totally~ super-scared of STD stuff.

they....sorta all know that i wanted cosmetic work, but i'd be.....maybe like, a little um.....i dunno how they'd take it knowing i wanna be a big, sexy blow-up doll.....my sister'd probably totally laugh off the hypnosis stuff too.....

- nativedragon

IZ please just please deprogram yourself you are going towards a total melt down of yourself and if your mom is yelling at you when she never did before take it as a major stop sign please just please stop the programing and deprogram yourself before it is to late :'(

- mutatedbunnyboy

Hello, I'm not here to help or be moral support, this is fun to read, can't wait until you're a dribbling idiot incapable or saying anything but "more cock please". Come to the UK \o/

- ztshp

Bunny boy shut up

- izatga88

yumm.....more cock please~! :P

the funny thing about all that, is that i'm like.....kinda not really starting to care about the STD thing anymore ~

- mutatedbunnyboy

Ztsp, we are all entitled to our own opinion, and to watch a human conform to such simplistic conditioning is amusing to me, if I offered my cock out to Iztga like a cucumber on a stick, I'd bet she'd take it. And I like to watch that. Sickening as it may be to you, that's my enjoyment here. You're all allowed to offer up encouragement for her to stop, why am I not allowed to make the counter argument? Kindly respect my fetishes and I will do so in turn.

- whynot96

Hello, first time commenting, are you still listening to the file, I've read the last three entries a little, if you are maybe you should stop and try to de-program yourself.

- nativedragon

Iz within the timespan of 10 hours you went from scared of STD's to not really worring about them =/ if you get's something like HIV/AIDS that ain't got a cure your life and any kids you have their lives with be forever F'ed up =/

- Guuliar

That sounds horrible. The bimbo part is nice to a point, but I'd miss being able to listen to songs and being able to choose what's in my head instead of the same thing over and over again. That sounds like borderline masochism. I need to be able to hear songs over and over again in my head. I think your mom yelling at you qualifies as a family command to stop.

- Whimsical

Well, I certainly think you should at a minimum modify your programming so that you always practice safe sex. You can still be a good bimbo and have safe sex, after all. Other than that, I find myself torn:One one hand, it does seem like your programming is causing you some problems, incredibly minor though they may be. On the other, I find your diary entries incredibly hot- you're very nearly the perfect woman; and if I had the resources necessary to give you the lifestyle you crave, I'd be trying to help you live your dream. In the end, I respect you enough to leave the choice up to you, and will support your choice no matter what it is. Given that all hypnosis is self hypnosis, I believe that there is a part of you that will stop this if your problems get serious. I have faith in you, even if others don't.

- nativedragon

incase you didn't notice IZ i've sent ya 2 private messages :)

- izatga88

so like, it seems the PM box on here only holds like 100 PMs, then starts trashing the old ones.....that kinda explains a few things that were confusing me.... (but dont worry ~ i've been looking at liek ~all of the new ones coming in)

bit of a status update ~ i dunno if i like, ate something bad, or i've been working to hard at my PC this & last week, but i've been feeling like VERY super-sick......bad headache.....still want a row of cocks to suck on.......

- mutatedbunnyboy

Well open wide then.

- Guuliar

I think at a minimum you need to at least tell your parents. We all support you, but we're also concerned for you too. I'd go for safe sex programming too.

- Fjm

I also think that it may be just a matter of time before you start having casual sex with dozens of partners. The average woman can have semi-unlimited free sex if she desires so, particularly in the internet age. Have a lot of fun but please stay safe, always carry condoms and insert safe sex progamming in your loop. The fact that your thoughts seems to be just re-runs of the programming and that you seem to have an hard time ... thinking on your own ... is a bit scary though and It may be an issue workwise.

- nativedragon

hey IZ when are you going to update us?

- Plaat

This isn't right in the least, shouldn't we bring EGM in on this? we have talked enough and this post, if real is not good. Iz needs direct help here, feeling good is not the same as being good, this could be comparable to overdosing on E or the like. Even the other women who spam themselves on slut and bimbo files seem to have their lives together.(TammyToy)

- izatga88

that's like, a bit much isn't it?

i've not had any urges to post an update, so....

- mutatedbunnyboy

Have you had an urge for cum?

- nativedragon

i think you should post an update because everyone wants to see how you're doing IZ

- ztshp

Bunny shut up

- mutatedbunnyboy

Ztshp ... no?

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